"How dare you betray me, Soopa! I am your master!" Ruto screamed as she shot EVAL FEDISH POWUR at the defenseless derpcat! He dodged the FAP LAZURZ franticly.

"Once a voraphile, always a voraphile my dear!"

"No! This is not who I am!" "THIS...IS...NOT...WHO...I...AAAAAAAMMMM!!!"

Suddenly, a raident light shown from the sky as Unikitty descended with the Mace of Virginity to destroy the evil fish overlord/overlady/thing. Soopa climbed on the back of the legendary brick cat and took up the mightiest weapon in history! He was filled with a strong inner power! He reflected the lasers! With lasers! Of his own! PEW! PEW! BASHEEEEEWBADADADA SHABOOM! ZAP! BUSHOOM! WHABIBBITY!!!

"Wait...Soopa..." Ruto said.

"Would you eat...ME?"

At that moment, she summoned Soopa's predatory counterpart, Xoopa Xerpcat. Soopa was beginning to reach down towards his jimmies to rustle them.

"Soopa! NO!!!!" Shrieked Unikitty. She gave him a sip of magical pure-heart tea. With that, Soopa's eyes narrowed. He faced Xoopa, and raised the Mace of Virginity!


Xoopa shrieked demonicly as he lunged to devour hawt babesickles.


Soopa brought the mace crashing to the ground. A fissure split in the earth, and Xoopa feel straight back into Hell! "NO!" Shouted Ruto! "MY DARLING!!!" Soopa turned towards Ruto.

"You never loved me Ruto, you only loved my weird perverted alter-self who is sometimes me and sometimes isn't! Now you shall be punished for your deceit! I banish you forever to the land of stuff I don't think about!"

Ruto disappeared, kicking and gargling and growling and screeching, vanishing forever into whatever while Soopa ascended into Cloud Cuckooland to have a victory teaparty.

The end.


To be continued.....

Chapter 2 Edit

....the end.